From the Mailbag: Falling for Your Bull

 Q: I've been reading your blog and as a married woman both fascinated and terrified by what I have read, I'm curious about the impact of romantic feelings developing for a bull and the impact of having an additional sex partner. Will you address this?

A: Thanks for the question. Some people are better than others at compartmentalizing their romantic longings from their sexual desires. For others, emotions and touch naturally entwine, making causal sex harder. Research shows that women tend to have a harder time than men with preventing emotional attachment, and when this happens they are more prone to feeling used, depressed, regretful, or embarrassed after the fact.

It's important to determine what type of person you are before entering into an additional sexual relationship.  It can be easy to tell yourself that it's just sex, just for fun, but for some people, it may turn out to be very hard to keep your feelings in check. So, it's vital to assess expectations honestly.

From my perspective, I only engage with a couple who can keep the relationship on a physical level with romantic entanglements avoided and forbidden. As a bull, I am not there to fill any emotional need, strictly physical. If a spouse can't or doesn't fill the emotional needs, the couple is not a good candidate for a cuckold relationship and need to address deeper underlying issues within the relationship.

The key is honestly assessing how you feel and what are you truly hoping to get out of the experience. I always stress this is not for everyone. It can be right for those that want to experience an array of sexual behaviors within a loving relationship with an understanding and supportive spouse. However, it can have a profound negative effect if key indicators are ignored.